Breakfast of Champions

A week from today I’ll be running in the Philadelphia Marathon where I intend to break the world’s record.* What, you’re probably thinking, is the breakfast of a champion such as myself?

Cold stone bravery, determination and methamphetamines, that’s what.

Truth be told, I eat cookies the night before. On long training runs and races I swear by McCann’s Irish oatmeal (2-3 packets) with real Vermont maple syrup washed down with an all-natural Sambazon Amazon energy drink (so I guess I wasn’t lying about the meth). For runs over 13 miles I’ll take a packet of Jelly Belly Sport Beans with me. Give me a break – I bake my own damned bread and shop at the farmers’ market three times a week – I’m allowed a bit of laboratory Frankenfood! But the one thing I never ever ever ever ever eat before a run? Apples. They make my guts act wrong.


*For fastest time run by a New Jersey resident food blogger who also has a Chihuahua named Rocco.